I am sorry to have ignored the blog for so long.
I have learned in the last few months that this whole nevus thing is a pretty shady, pun intended. I can talk to one doctor and turn around and get completely different information from the next. I try and sift through the facts but that is the trouble when you have a daughter that is one in 500,000...you just don't have the facts. I dive into the internet (not my best friend) and spend hours on 'blogspots' reading about other little ones battling the same condition. I compare war stories, I find comfort in others writings. I get lost. I need to stop.
I guess I am trying to take this all in without it taking me all in, and failing. Miserably. I have learned that if I let me mind do the walking, we end up in some pretty scary places. I need to find a happy-medium. I have got to learn to deal with the waiting and the gray areas and the things that are out of my control. I have got to trust God and know that he will never give me more than I can handle. So this is it, on this beautiful (looking) day, it's windier than crap out there, I am going to make myself a promise. I am going to move forward with life and everything that it may have in store for us with a smile on my face. No more "woe is me." No more worries...okay that is a lie. But I will promise to only worry in moderation and at a pace that does not intrude on any other area of my life. I will look at each day as a gift and resist the temptation to research this stupid nevus. I will wait patiently for her next surgery and MRI. I will remain strong and positive and diligent in prayer. I will because I can.
I can't imagine how hard this process must be for you and your family. You have a great support system, too, which will carry you through this with their presence during the difficult times, their prayers and their love. You are not in this alone. Love you -
ReplyDelete